The sex toys for both partners that work best are the ones you use during sex itself, where each of you feels something at the same moment: a vibrating cock ring, a wearable U-shaped vibrator, or a remote-controlled bullet with the remote in the other person's hand. Single-user toys have their place, but in partnered sex they can leave one person watching while the other plays.
A wand is great for her. A stroker is great for him. Neither one, used on its own, changes much about how you have sex together. A mutual toy does.
There's a practical reason to want clitoral contact during intercourse, too. In a nationally representative US survey published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, only about 18 percent of women said intercourse alone was enough for orgasm, and most said clitoral stimulation was needed or made orgasm better. All three designs below add it.
Start with the material
A toy used during sex touches sensitive skin on both of you, often within the same few minutes. That makes the material matter more, not less.
Skip jelly, TPR, TPE, and PVC. Planned Parenthood notes that porous materials can absorb germs that lead to infections, while non-porous toys are easier to keep clean. Look for silicone, ABS plastic, glass, or stainless steel, and wash with mild soap and warm water after every use.
Sex toys for both partners: three designs that work
The vibrating cock ring
This is the most forgiving couples' toy there is. A silicone ring stretches over the penis and sits at the base. The snug fit helps hold blood in, the same idea behind the tension rings doctors pair with vacuum pumps for erectile dysfunction, and many men find erections feel firmer with one on.
For her, the small motor on top presses against the clitoris during penetration, with steady vibration on every stroke. Nobody holds anything, so your hands are free for each other. Sizing and fit are covered in our cock ring guide.
The wearable U-shaped vibrator
This one is worn by the female partner. The thinner arm goes inside, the wider arm rests against the clitoris, and a flexible bridge keeps it in place.
She gets clitoral and internal stimulation together. He feels the vibration through the thin internal arm, plus a snugger fit during penetration. We go further into fit and positions in wearable vibrators during sex.
The remote-controlled bullet
Technically a solo toy, but handing over the remote changes that. She gets dedicated external stimulation through a long stretch of foreplay. He decides when to turn it up and when to ease off, which a lot of men enjoy more than they expect.
It's also the easiest of the three to add to sex you already have, because nothing about position or fit changes. Keep the bullet on the outside, and pick one with a flared base or a cord if it will ever go anywhere internal.
Making it work for "ours"
A mutual toy will change your routine a little, and that's fine. A wearable takes up some room, so penetration may feel tighter or need a different angle. A vibrating ring works better with plenty of water-based lube, so the motor glides instead of drags. Both lube and toy cleaner are in our lube and care collection.
Talk during the first few uses. Short questions do the job: "Faster or slower?" "Different angle?" Swap the remote halfway through and see who's the bigger tease.
One safety note: take a cock ring off if it hurts, feels numb, or the skin turns cold or discolored. This is general information, not medical advice; see a doctor for pain, bleeding, or erection trouble that doesn't go away.
If you're choosing one to start, the vibrating ring is the simplest test of whether mutual toys suit you. You'll find all three designs in our couples collection.