Men using sex toys has been common for a long time; it just was not talked about. The research shows a large share of men have used a vibrator, most of them with a partner, and interest in toys of all kinds jumped during the pandemic. What has changed is less the behavior than the stigma, along with much better products built for men.
For years, vibrators were sold to women as self-care while toys for men got a sad-bachelor reputation. That picture was always a bit off.
What the research says about men using sex toys
In 2009, researchers at Indiana University published a nationally representative survey of 1,047 American men aged 18 to 60 in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. About 45% said they had used a vibrator during sexual activity at some point. Of those men, roughly 91% had used one during foreplay or intercourse with a female partner. There was no meaningful difference between straight, gay, and bisexual men.
That study was about vibrators specifically, not strokers or rings, and it is more than a decade old. But it makes the point well: men were not using toys instead of a partner. Mostly, they were using them with one. The same research team found that men who had used a vibrator were also more likely to report other sexual health habits, like doing testicular self-exams.
Then 2020 happened. With people stuck at home and dating on hold, toy makers reported big jumps in online sales, and retailers said beginner products were flying off the shelves. Forbes covered the trend that fall. A lot of people, men included, used the time to try something new.
What changed for men
Better materials, if you know where to look
Most male toys used to be jelly, TPR, or other soft rubbery blends. Many strokers still are, and a lot of them are sold as realistic skin, which sounds premium and is not. Those materials feel soft but are porous, which means they absorb lube and body fluids and can never be fully cleaned. Check the label before you buy.
There are now more non-porous options for men: silicone cock rings, silicone and steel prostate toys, and strokers built from silicone or with a hard shell. They last longer and they wash clean, and some of them feel a lot better than a hand.
A focus on stamina and control
Plenty of men pick up a stroker for reasons that have little to do with novelty. Masturbating the same way, with the same tight grip, for years can make other kinds of touch feel less effective. A well-lubed sleeve with different textures gives your body something new to respond to, and practicing slowing down solo is one of the more reliable ways to get better control with a partner. Pair that with pelvic floor exercises and you are working on control from two directions.
Toys built for two
Vibrating cock rings, wearable vibrators, and app-controlled toys are designed so both people feel something at the same time. That has helped change the old worry that a toy means a man is not enough. A vibrating ring is a tool he wears, not a replacement for him. Our cock rings guide covers how they work and how to wear one safely.
Where to start
If you have never bought a toy, start with one thing and a good bottle of lube. You do not need a drawer full of gear to find out what you like. A stretchy silicone cock ring is the lowest-stakes entry point: inexpensive, simple, and useful solo or with a partner. If you are curious about strokers, read our first-timer's guide to male masturbators first, then check the material before you buy. If the listing says TPE, TPR, or realistic skin, it is porous.
You can browse everything in our penis toys collection. Every item we sell is non-porous, and orders ship in a plain brown box with a neutral name on your card statement, so nobody learns anything you have not told them.